All Last Night Sat On the Levee and Moaned
by Dreamscapes Symphonic
Summary: Fifty snapshots of a life in which Dean left with Tessa in "In My Time of Dying." Sam and John carry on, facing whatever destiny decides to throw at them.


1. "Time of death, four twenty-five pm."

Sam is at the salvage yard arguing with Bobby. John is in the hospital basement attempting a futile deal with a demon. The bed is surrounded by solemn doctors as Tessa embraces Dean.

Later, Sam realizes he will never forgive himself or his father for letting Dean die alone.

2. The funeral pyre in Bobby's yard has long grown cold and it is time to move on. Sam and John climb into John's pick up truck, leaving the skeletal remains of the Impala among the rest of the junk.

3. Headless bodies litter the vampire nest once John and Gordon have finished. Sam ignores all of John's questions about his health. Lenore had only wanted to live in peace and his father couldn't even let her have that. If it was supernatural, it had to die, that's John Winchester's way and Heaven forbid that ever change. Sam glares out the passenger side window for three hundred miles, not seeing the way his father's white knuckled hands grip the steering wheel or the way his eyes dart towards his youngest son, as if afraid he, too, will disappear.

4. "You lost me my husband, John Winchester. I'll be damned if you'll take my daughter too."

With that, Ellen leads her silent daughter out the door, leaving John and Sam alone in the apartment. Sam almost wishes for round two with H.H. Holmes, if only so he won't have to see the haunted look on his father's face.

5. John stands at the crossroads in Greenwood, Mississippi. The crossroads demon has been exorcised and Evan Hudson's soul is safe. He sympathizes with the man, knows how it is to be that desperate to save your family. If he'd started his own ritual just a little earlier, maybe his oldest boy would be with them right now.

6. Sam's immunity to the Croatan virus is both a huge relief and a huge worry for John. He doesn't need to kill his son. (_Yet_, a little voice croons.) But between this and Sam's visions, he knows something is building and it has to do with Azazel.

7. Gordon threatened Sam. John doesn't even bother with the police. A bullet to the head works just fine.

8. Sam is openly weeping, clutching John as though he was five years old again. "I want Dean back," he sobs, his voice slurred and muffled by John's jacket. "The demon wants me. It's my fault. Dean...Mom. It's..."

He lifts his head and looks straight into John's eyes. "Don't let me hurt anyone," he begs, his eyes red and streaming.

John cups his face. "I promise."

Sam falls asleep against him and John gently moves him onto the bed. He carefully takes all the liquor bottles from the table, replacing them with a glass of water and several aspirin.

A year ago, he would have been able to keep his promise with little hesitation. Now he wonders if he would have the strength.

9. "I do pray every day."

Sam looks defiantly at John, as though daring him to mock his faith. But all John can see is his beautiful wife telling their sons angels are watching over them. So he keeps his skepticism to himself and turns the conversation back to Father Gregory.

10. The demon inside Sam taunts John as Bobby chants the exorcism rite.

"_Exorcizamus te, omnis immundus spiritus,"_

"So this is both your boys you got killed now, John, isn't it?"

"O_mnis satanica potestas,"_

"Sweet little Sammy, he's screaming in here. Just screaming for Daddy."

"O_mnis incursio, infernalis adversarii,"_

"Gonna try and save him, John? Should you even bother? I mean, you know what he's gonna become. Might as well put the little shit out of his misery."

The demon gives him a lascivious wink. John gathers all of his strength, keeps his face impassive, and begins chanting in unison with Bobby.

"_Gloria patri._ "

His son screams and goes limp in his bindings.

11. John ignores the scantily clad women on the auditorium stage and rams the wooden stake straight into the Trickster's heart. The creature falls back into his seat, its grin still frozen on its face.

"Well, glad to be done with that little bastard," he tells Sam.

12. Madison knows she's dangerous. She knows she has to die. But she just wishes it could have been Sam who did it. Not his father, whose eyes are expressionless as he loads his gun.

13. John is slightly alarmed at how well his son fits in among the other prisoners at the Green River County Detention Center. He hopes it's a result of returning to rough world of hunting, not a sign that the demon was right about him.

14. "Sam, why'd you have to keep digging?"

Dean's eyes are sad. No, not Dean. This isn't his real brother. It's a Djinn dream and he's hanging somewhere, dying.

"If I kill myself, I'll wake up."

"Sam, give me the knife."

Now Jess is there too, her white nightgown billowing around her heavily pregnant stomach. She holds out her hand. "Sam, sweetie, please stop it."

Sam holds the knife up, uncertain for one anguished split second. But he knows what he has to do.

He thrusts the the blade into his own gut. Dean's screams blend with his father's as John tries to pry him out of his bindings.

15. As he stumbles down to the crossroads, John can almost convince himself that Sam was just sleeping when he left the hotel room.

Dammit, he already failed one son. He's not about to lose his youngest too.

16. John's aim is true and for once, luck is on his side. A single shot through the forehead and Azazel is dead. Twenty-two years after the hunt began, it is suddenly over.

But now Sam has his suspicions and is looking for answers. And John only has a year left with him. He knows Sam will be furious if he finds out about the deal, so he does what he has always done. He ignores the questions and orders his son into the car.

17. Sam walks the last of the changling's victims back to his mother's house. Ben's a good kid and his mother Lisa has been very helpful. But something about Ben reminds Sam too much of Dean as a kid and he needs to get out of this town right away.

18. "What'll it be, boys?"

"Chicken Caesar for me." Sam says, smiling at the waitress.

"The rabbit's foot you just took from my son's pocket." John replies, giving her the same smile, "You're lucky we're on our way to destroy it, otherwise you'd be dead within hours."

John's dealt with Bela Talbot before and is in no mood for her bullshit now.

19. Sam knows John's keeping a secret from him, but what else is new? So really, there's no harm in having a secret of his own. At least that's how he justifies himself as he sneaks out of the motel room to meet up with Ruby.

Sure, she's a demon but she seems to genuinely want to help Sam control his powers. If he could control them, imagine how many people he could save.

20. John can't tell Sam he knows this will be his last Christmas. So instead of the idyllic fantasy he'd foolishly pictured over the past few weeks, he sips his beer and watches Sam slip out on yet another unknown errand.

21. Deep under the influence of African Dream Root, John faces down a demonic version of himself. It hits him then, what is really happening. He is going to hell. He's got a matter of weeks left on Earth, then it's an eternity in hell. He might deserve it for failing his family, but he doesn't want it anymore. And now he's more afraid than he has ever been in his whole life.

22. Sam is furious when John tells him about the deal. Ruby tells him she can help. That is the first time he sleeps with her.

23. Ruby lied. Sam watches as his father is torn apart by hellhounds.

24. Luckily for everybody involved, Bobby Singer is so startled by the return of his colleague that the bullet misses any of John's major organs.

25. Even after Bobby's reassurances that this is really his father, and even after Sam's performed the tests himself, he can't bring himself to embrace John. The anger bubbles too close to the surface.

Behind him, Ruby suppresses a smile.

26. "I invoke, conjur, and command thee, show me your face!"

"Maybe you should stop..."

"No, I've almost got him. I invoke, conjur and command thee-"

A strong hand clamps down on Pamela's arm. "Leave it," John says. "No one else is getting hurt because of us."

27. Bobby isn't quite sure how John convinced him that summoning this Castiel creature was a good idea. But as the barn begins to collapse around them, Bobby swears he'll never listen to the idiot again.

28. No matter how many times Bobby compares the Witnesses to rabid dogs or says their rage is out of their control, Sam knows he'll dream about Dean's fury for the rest of his life.

29. John's head is spinning when he finds himself back in the dingy hotel room, attempting to process what he'd just seen. Mary was a hunter. Hell, her whole family had been. Yellow Eyes killed all of them. He'd killed John. John had watched in horror as Mary made her deal, effectively dooming Sam.

And yet, this still didn't compare to the rush of emotion he'd felt at just seeing her face again. He hadn't even realized the memory had faded until she was there in the flesh, pinning him against an alley wall. He's only half listening to the angel as he speaks, mind still full of Mary.

"So stop him, or we will."

That gets his attention.

30. Sam is mid-exorcism when Ruby sees John approaching the warehouse. With a lazy wave of her hand, a shelf moves in front of the window, shielding them from view.

"So Sam, how'd it feel?"

Sam turns to her and smiles. "Good. No more headaches."

She smiles back. "None? That's good. Come on," she indicates the previously possessed man, who is now beginning to wake up. "Let's get him to the ER."

She hoists the man to his feet, indicating for Sam to follow. They exit through the back door just as John comes in the front.

31. "Basically they were all dicks."

Sam can't help the slight smirk as his Dad tries to glare at him, but winds up jumping a foot and shrieking as a car honks behind him.

32. The town has been decimated, but the seal is broken anyway. No matter, thinks the angel Castiel. It is but one town, and we are but tools for the Almighty's will.

33. Sam is trying to research the coin they found in Lucky Chin's wishing well, but he keeps getting distracted as John mutters and tosses in bed, clearly in the midst of a nightmare. He's done this every night, but refuses to talk about it. He told Sam that he doesn't remember Hell, but Sam has a sick feeling that his dad is lying to him again.

34. John is furious to learn that Sam's new friend is actually Ruby in another fucking vessel. He doesn't trust the bitch, despite Sam's insistence that she's on their side. He demands to know if Sam is still using his powers. Sam lies and feels no remorse.

35. The angels gave John a choice, kill Anna or kill Sam. He hands Anna over with zero hesitation.

36. Sam sits beside his father's hospital bed after the angels have come and gone. John had already been unconscious when he killed Alistair, but he knows Uriel and Castiel witnessed his powers. He wonders if they'll be back to kill him. And then he wonders if maybe he could kill them.

37. John broke the first seal. He started the goddamn Apocalypse and now he's the only one who can finish it. Yet, amid the crushing guilt, there is a sliver of relief that this burden is on him and not his children.

38. Chuck sighs and lays his head on the desk. Why is it that only the shitty story ideas come to him fully fleshed out. Like that one about the father and his son, how they travel around fighting the paranormal despite their issues with the death of his other son? Ordinary People meets The Evil Dead.

Fuck it, he was never meant to be an author.

39. The thought that John had this whole other family is something that Sam just can't handle right now. After they burn the bodies of Adam and his mother, he leaves John drowning his own grief in the motel room and walks to a nearby park. Sitting on a bench, he touches Dean's amulet where it has hung around his own neck for two years and wishes more than anything, more than even averting the Apocalypse, just to have his brother back.

Dean would understand where Sam's coming from, he thinks. He'd understand that it was all for the greater good, the blood drinking and the powers. Hell, maybe he'd even be proud.

40. Sam exorcises the demon with barely a thought. The vessel slumps to the floor, unconscious but otherwise alright.

Ruby smiles at him. "I think it's time, Sam," she says. "What do you say? Ready to take on Lilith?"

41. John destroys the Green Room in a desperate bid to get out, to get to Sam before it's too late. The angels have told him everything. They're working toward the Apocalypse, the bastards.

And Sam. That fucker Zachariah told him everything. What Ruby's been doing, the demon blood. He doesn't want to believe it, but deep down he knows it's true. This explains the secrecy, the powers Sam swears he hasn't used since before John went to Hell. It even explains Azazel's end game.

Maybe he should have killed him when he had the chance. But either way, he'll do anything to get to his son now. Even beg Castiel to help him. But the angel remains impassive as he touches John's temple and the world disappears.

42. Sam wakes up in Bobby's panic room. In a few hours he'll learn that Bobby found him at the church, tossed aside as Lucifer escaped his bonds. He'll hear Bobby tell him, voice not flat enough to disguise his disgust and fear, how he killed Ruby with her own knife and spit on the corpse. And then he'll be left alone in the dark as Bobby leaves to find John. And that is when Lucifer will appear with his first offer.

But for now Sam knows nothing beyond a pounding headache and the lingering feeling that something just isn't right.

43. "When this is over, I want you to lose my number."

Bobby walks out of the room, leaving Sam and John alone. His fingers scratch absently at the anti-possession tattoo under his shirt.

44. John tries to talk to his son. He knows this is his fault, he failed Sam and that's why Sam did what he did.

But Sam didn't steal a candy bar from the corner store or talk back to a teacher. He didn't even get drunk and bang some truck stop waitress with a bizarre rash, like Dean had that one very awkward summer. No, he'd raised the fucking Devil. How exactly is a father supposed to address that?

John can't say he's surprised to wake up one morning and find Sam is gone.

45. "Okay kid, I can take you as far as Detroit."

46. Uriel gazes down at the empty vessel before him. It is always unpleasant, killing a brother, but now that Lucifer has risen, it is time to gather his followers together. And destroy anyone planning to work against them.

He walks out of the warehouse, sliding the door shut behind him. Jimmy Novak's body is found the next morning, but nobody can explain the massive black wings burned into the concrete around him.

47. Sam says yes. He embraces the cold as it engulfs his soul.

48. "Look, you weren't the first choice. You know, Michael versus Lucifer. Brother versus brother. I think you know where I'm getting at here. But it's your bloodline that really matters. Lucifer's already claimed his vessel. So now it's time to play the role that destiny gave you."

John's only thought is, _Didn't I kill this fucker years ago?_

49. John says yes. The last thing he sees as Michael takes his vessel is Mary's face.

50. The apocalypse goes as planned. They follow the script to the letter and the human race is collateral damage. But in the end, heaven is triumphant. The angels prepare for Paradise on Earth. If they could feel emotions, perhaps there would be happiness.

Instead there is nothing.


End file.
